The value of HOPE

Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." 

With everything that's been happening in the world today, hope is such an important word. I believe the only way we can get through struggles is by putting our hope in the Lord. I love the verse Isaiah 40:31 because it shows the value in the word, hope. When we put our hope, trust, and faith in the Lord, we have that strength knowing He will take care of us. That He will guide us and has a plan through everything. When we are fearful of what's ahead, we can't grow. We can't put our trust in Him. Therefore, it's so important to have hope and that trust in the Lord to get us through those trials in our life! Pray, pray, pray!! I can sometimes struggle with this, but never forget the power of prayer! It can move mountains! The Lord is listening and He is working in your life! Trust Him and let Him work in your life! 

the darkness of envy

A few months ago I took the enneagram test. And turns out, I am a four, which is the individualist. Within this test there are nine different personality types all together. Each type goes into deep detail of your inner personality. One of the topics that strikes me is my core weakness. And that would be envy. Envy is when you desire to have something someone else has, that you don't have. when I was reading over this weakness, I couldn't help but laugh because it was for sure me. Most of the times when I am down or upset it's because I have been comparing my life to someone else's and wondering why I am not them, why I am not there, and why I don't have the same things they have. Knowing in the back of my mind that everyone is at different walks in life. I wondered, does Jesus love me less and am I less special. You are probably wondering why I would think that. Jesus does love everyone. Yes, you are certainly correct. But it's a sin that I struggle with daily, and reading this helped me come to a realization how unhealthy I was living my life. I am not saying I am 100 percent better now. I am totally no where near that. I struggle and I have failed. But I am able to catch myself when I do it, and I pray about it or I talk it out with someone. "A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones." Proverbs 14:30. I love this verse because it shows what envy can do. It destroys you as a person, if you let it. Jesus wants us to have a loving and rejoicing heart. Not a heart filled with anger and envy. In Romans 12:15 it says, "rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." In this verse it reminded me to be there for others and love them. To be one with them and support them. Be in community and not in a place that is in envy. But like I said, this can be difficult at times, but that's the beauty of how Jesus conquered all sin on earth. He was tempted just like we are, so He understands what we go through on a daily basis. We can find grace and mercy through Him to fight the sin. When Jesus is working through us, we can overcome anything. "For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." Hebrews 2:18. When living with the sin of envy we can't build healthy relationships, but when we overcome it we are able to rebuild those relationships in the body of Christ. The body of Christ functions better when in unity, not in envy.

Life does go by in a blink of an eye

You know the typical saying, "life goes by in a blink of an eye." Well, the older I get the more that statement is true to me. Life is precious and valuable. We shouldn't take it for granted, and we shouldn't take it lightly. My mom and I went this past week to see a family friend, who has Alzheimer's. It was great to see her, but she couldn't remember who we were. I think she knew us, but couldn't identify who we were. It's like you know a face, but you can't put a name to the face. It was heartbreaking to see someone you love and shared so many memories with, who's memory is slowly dying away. I was telling my mom about past memories of how we used to go to her apartment, watch movies, and help her clean. It's in those small moments that were so special to me with her. I kept thinking to myself, I wish I could have seen her one more time before she forgot who I was. I wish I would have made more of an effort to see her, and not waited this long. But we can't do that to ourselves and stay stuck in the past. We have to keep moving forward and look forward to the new memories that will be shared. Even though there were many fond memories shared with her that I will always remember, I have to look to the memories I can share with her now. When my mom and I went to see her, we played some gospel music for her that she loved and was singing. That is a new memory I will have with her. So, don't take your life for granted and don't take your time with others for granted. When you are able to be with that person, create new memories with them, and enjoy the moment with them. Don't think about the situation, the pain, and the past. Think about the now, the blessing the Lord has done in your life, and the happiness this person has brought in your life. Life does go by in a blink of an eye.

His work is not yet finished

Psalm 33:4: “For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness.” This verse describes the work that was done in Uganda, Africa for the almost two weeks we were there. From December 31^st-January 12^th, the Lord began a good work in my heart that is not yet finished since starting the trip in Uganda. The Lord has shown me so many things that is very hard to explain in words. But what I do have to say is the Lord’s work is good and always done in faithfulness. The word of the Lord is good and fruitful, therefore hang on to it. Worship, pray, read His word, and lean on what He has called you to do for His kingdom. I feel as the goal of this trip was to be a light to the lost of Uganda. To be a light and a witness to the women, men, and children of Uganda. To let them know that they are loved and no matter where they are at in their life and the circumstances they are in, the Lord has a place for them in the kingdom, if they will believe and accept it in their hearts. I have also learned a lot myself from their stories and found them encouraging and very uplifting. Since it’s hard to explain everything that happened in text, I’m going to tell you the top ten things that left a mark on me and I will always remember from this trip to Uganda. Here we go…

1.) Coming out of my comfort zone and making new relationships with people on the team and getting to know who they are.

2.) Darla grabbing my hand and making me dance with her in front of the team, even when I was screaming on the inside, I don’t like being center of attention. Thank you, Darla I really needed that.

3.) Going to the comforter’s center and listening to the women’s stories and testimonies. Also, praying with them and giving them a word from the Lord.

4.) Going into the slums and hearing their stories/testimonies and praying with them/giving them the Gospel.

5.)  Seeing the children’s faces light up when we were coming through the slums. We sang them songs and they held our hands while following us around in the slums.

6.) Painting the Aliyah Joy house together as a team. I loved working as a team and having that time to bond and laugh together as a team.

7.) The ceremony we had for the Aliyah Joy house. I loved seeing all the people come out and hear the good news of the Lord. I loved getting to know people that have a heart for the Lord and the comforter’s center in Uganda. Also, singing for the people and dancing with them was a lot of fun.

8.) Trying Ugandan food and shopping at the markets was a fun experience. Also, driving through Uganda was stressful, yet fun! Ha-ha!

9.)  As we were on the bus driving to the Aliyah Joy house and back, we would open the windows and sing songs to people as we were driving past on the side of the roads. I loved seeing their expressions and their smiling faces when we would sing to them.

10.) Having daily team meetings about our day. Getting together to talk, pray, and worship our great Lord.

I have loved seeing our team grow over the past two weeks. I also have seen some growth in myself within this trip. Thinking and praying of where the Lord wants me after college. Not passing the Praxis and changing my major has been a huge struggle for me lately and this trip to Uganda really helped me see the Lord’s provision and love. Before leaving for Uganda I made the decision to change my major to Biblical studies and a minor in Intercultural Studies. I left the trip kind of lost and depressed. Feeling like I didn’t really have a future no more, because I was so focused on becoming a teacher. But while on the trip, the Lord gave me such a huge heart for ministry. Telling the lost people of the world the great news of the Gospel. Whether that’s here in the US or overseas. I also heard this song in chapel called, “New Wine”, and I have been playing it over and over again because it’s a daily reminder that the Lord will make us whatever He wants us to be. We shouldn’t worry about what tomorrow brings or what our future holds because the Lord knows and has a plan that is good for His kingdom. Also, I have been taking a lot of Bible classes and growing in my faith with the Lord through that. I have recently been taking Intercultural Study classes, which I really enjoy. I am taking a class right now about communicating the Gospel to different cultures and an idea came to my mind. I have a huge heart for people with disabilities. So, how can we communicate the Gospel to people who have disabilities? I thought about starting a ministry for people who have disabilities and how to start creative ways of reaching people who have disabilities to understand and grasp the Gospel. The Lord cares for everyone and wants to have a personal relationship with every single person. I believe that churches are lacking in providing resources for people with disabilities and I want to make that change. The Lord’s timing is always perfect. When one door shuts, another opens. Just be patient and trust in Him every day. One more thing, for my practicum I have to pick three books to read, and one of them I found that sounded really interesting and sparked my interest in leading a special needs ministry is called, “Leading a Special Needs Ministry”. So, I can’t wait to read it and learn many things from it!

I am Clean

One of my favorite songs is "Clean" by Natalie Grant. Every time I hit play on my phone, it always brings comfort to my heart. It also refocuses me and reminds me of what God has done for me and how much He loves me.

"I see shattered
You see whole
I see broken
But You see beautiful
And You're helping me to believe
You're restoring me piece by piece"

    This part of the song reminds me of how God sees me. God strives to help me see how much He loves me and sees how beautiful I am. There are days where I tear myself down and feeling like I will never measure up. But when I listen to these specific lyrics, it reminds me that God loves me so much that He died for me. I am a child of God, made in the image of God. Nothing is more beautiful than a love like that. I am reminded that God made me for a specific reason and sees how beautiful I am. 

"There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean
There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean"

    This part of the song reminds me that no matter what I have done in my past, God is right there next to me. He is such a forgiving God and an almighty God. There has been days where I have sinned and felt like God will never forgive me and will not love me. But that's not who God is. When I have turned away from God, it's as easy as asking for forgiveness and redirecting my life back to Christ. Trying to stay away from a sin I am struggling with can be difficult, but with a strong relationship with God it's possible. God died for my sins so I can have a personal relationship with Him, and so I can have an eternal life with Him. God loves me and wants to have a relationship with me. 

"What was dead now lives again
My heart's beating, beating inside my chest
Oh I'm coming alive with joy and destiny
'Cause You're restoring me piece by piece"

    This shows what happens when I accept God into my heart and I have that close relationship with Him. I am a new person, and a life that's filed with hope, faith, joy, and peace. He restores me when I accept God and I stay close to Him. When I accept God into my heart, the old person dies away and the new person is restored. 

"Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice
Your blood flowed red and made me white
My dirty rags are purified
I am clean"

    I love this part because it's showing God dying for my sins. His blood flowed red and it made me white. This is showing God dying for me so I can live an eternal life with Him and that I will be saved from death. He died for me so that I could be purified. How awesome is that?! God loves me so much that He died for me! 

    Read His word, and pray to Him. He loves you and wants to listen to you. When you believe and understand What God has done for each and everyone of us, all there is to do is accept. Asking God into your heart and praying to Him. His arms are wide open and He is waiting for you. 

    Here is the song if you would like to take a listen. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pl45a_K8xM 

Reckless Love Of God

"Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah"

"Reckless Love" was played in chapel the other day and as these lyrics came across the screen tears began to come down my face. I was convicted and reminded of the love God pours out to me everyday. I thought about Him dying on the cross for me, and sacrificing His life so I could live a life eternal with Him. He saved me from my sins. That is true love. Even when there are days I fail, and I sin, He is still right there beside me to catch me. I don't deserve any of it, but He loves me and thinks I do deserve it. His love is never ending, never failing, overwhelming, and reckless. I was determined to draw my self closer to the Lord after that chapel and to know more of who He is and what He has done for me. I am reminded everyday of how thankful I am to be loved by such a loving and forgiving God. An almighty God, who died for each and every one of us. 

"There's no shadow You won't light up

Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me"

This part also made me think because there is nothing that stops God from coming after us and helping us through any trial and struggle we are going through in our life. He knows our heart and He loves us, so keep fighting on and keep searching the Lord. Stay close to Him and never let Him go because He cares for you and wants to have a close relationship with you. I have seen in my darkest and most challenging days the Lord work in me and show me a lot. I have learned a lot through the trials in my life and it has made me the person I am today. It has also made me closer to the Lord through those trials in my life. Never let Him go and always stay close to the Lord.  

The Walk of Faith

Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God  who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations."

    This past Saturday I started my first day Of CA (Community Assistant) training. I am beyond blessed that God has given me this opportunity to serve Him and the girls in my section this year spiritually. Also, I am blessed to be working along side of Lea my RA (Residence Assistance). She is one of the most loving, kind, down to earth, spiritual person I have met, and I am so excited to grow with her and learn more about who she is. But before I started training, I was a nervous wreck, not knowing what to expect from training week. I didn't know a lot of the people from Reslife, I don't do well will introducing myself to people first, I'm a introvert, I have trouble starting conversations, and I get very tired after being around large groups of people all day. So, knowing what Reslife was and what training week would be like; I had to face my fears and get out of my comfort zone. At times I wondered why God would call a shy person like me to be a CA in Reslife, but I know He had a reason for me being here. So, I trusted Him and took the first step out of my comfort zone this entire week. And let me tell you I have seen changes in myself that I have not seen before. Slowly, not quickly, but slowly I have been learning how to open myself up more to people. Especially people that I may not open myself up to usually. I have learned to appreciate more about people's differences and similarities, I have loved getting to know all of the people on the Reslife team, and I love how funny they are! They are always making you laugh! I still consider myself an introvert by the end of the day, but I still love community and I love to talk and have conversations with people about their personal life. I have appreciated the openness and kindness that the Reslife team has showed towards me and others around me. We are all like one big family. In the end, most lessons I have learned is always go where the Lord calls you, even if it's scary and out of your comfort zone, because you will grow and learn many new things. Don't be afraid because the Lord is faithful and always by your side. Embrace the journey the Lord has prepared for you!